Brothers and sisters, friends and family, I am so beyond excited to be standing in front of you today, to have this opportunity to speak to you, although as most of you know, I like to talk all the time anyway. Today, however, Is different than any other time I have taught a lesson, because today, I do not have treats like jungle brownies to pass out to hold your attention! I'd like to thank the bishopric for allowing me to speak to you on Easter Sunday for my farewell , although I'm sure my mother offering to feed the whole ward afterward helped.
Let me take a moment to introduce myself. My family lived in Escondido when I was very small until the summer of 2003, when we moved for my dads job to Northern California in the Bay Area. After a year, my family decided to stay in the Bay Area. It was there that I grew up, played water polo, basketball, ran track, learned how to drive and made some of my best friends. I am the second oldest of six kids, and each one of us is adopted. Yea, you could say my family is pretty cool. They were the ones making all the noise in the back ;) After I graduated high school, my family moved back to this area, and I attended school at BYUH, studying Exercise and sports science and professional biology. I have been at school there for the past 2 years. This past thanksgiving, I received my mission call to the Panama City, Panama Mission, an will be reporting this coming Wed. Thus the reason I began attending this ward back in January! Since being here, I have been a nanny to 2 little angels, Charlie and Maudie, and making some of my most favorite memories and friends right here in this ward!
I woud like to start talk by sharing a poem story of sorts, written by a young man about a re-occurring dream he had. I apologize to those of you who have heard it before.
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each on card.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
By Joshua Harris. Orginally published in New Attitude Magazine. Copyright New Attitude, 1995. You have permission to reprint this in any form. We only ask that you include the appropriate copyright byline and do not alter the content.
Brothers and sisters, is Jesus's name written on the cards of our hearts? In our secret places, the things that know one else knows or understands?? He places his name above ours, in a way that know one else can, this is called the atonement.
Just as it said in the story, Christ atones for all of our sins, even the most ridiculous and mundane ones. Sis Linda burton made 3 points about the atonement, in the last general conference, relief society meeting. I think these 3 principles really summarize the power, effect and blessing of the atonement.
The first was as follows: all that is unfair in life can be made right through the atonement atonement of Jesus Christ.
Everything that is unfair. Simple as that. I think that it is pretty fair to say, that at some point or another, we have all felt that we were being treated unfairly. Whether that be someone judging us without knowing us, or even being ripped off by a customer, it is taken care of. That is why we are always told to forgive others, regardless of their wrong doing because, Jesus Christ's atonement will make these situations right again. Imagine being in that room that I just read about, but this time, it's your room of files. If we were to pull out the file reading, "people I have not forgiven" or "people I hold grudges against" would you be ashamed of the size of that file, or would you be proud at the lack of cards? I know that none of us, are perfect, but don't you think that with a room of that size, maybe we should try to give the savior less to do? Less cards to write his name on? It is not our place to hold a grudge or be unforgiving. We are to be no ones judgment day. That is why the atonement is in place.m
Sis Burton's second principle was this: There is power in the Atonement to enable us to overcome the natural man or woman and become true disciples of Jesus Christ. Brothers and sisters, the word that came to mind as a researched and wrote the talk, and as I read this principle, was humility. In Mosiah 3:18-19 it reads....
Like I said before, humility. We know the difference between right and wrong. Just as we always have. Even since most of us were children, we had a basic knowledge of these principles. Our parents gave us rules to follow:ones that would keep us safe and help us to become better people. Some were just simple house rules, like no eating in the living room, others more important like always tell the truth and respect your parents. Just like our earthly parents, our Heavenly Father had expectations of us. But sometimes, we thinke we are above those expectations. This is where we must humble ourselves and repent. Because, he knows what it best for us. Always. Imagine if you had a drawer labeled, "all the time I disobeyed my parents" and then next to it, one that read, " the times is disobeyed my father in heaven" I'm sure that would be one of my more embarrassing files. But the beauty of all of this is, through the atonement of Jesus Christ, all of these things are put in Christ's name. What a beautiful act of love and sacrifice.
Principle 3: The Atonement is the greatest evidence we have of the Father’s love for His children.
Elder Oaks once said: “Think how it must have grieved our Heavenly Father to send His Son to endure incomprehensible suffering for our sins. That is the greatest evidence of His love for each of us!”
Can any of us imagine sending away one of our own children? And for us in the singles ward, what about sending off a sibling, or niece or nephew, to endure the utmost pain possible. It seems unimaginable. And how amazing is it that, our Heavenly Father, sent one of his own, to save each of us. And how amazing is it, that our Brother, Jesus Christ is willing to metaphorically write his name across our sins? I am going to ask each of you today, on Easter Sunday, to personally write His name in and on our hearts, so that we can always remember him, and so that there can be a file marked, "the ways I remember my savior" and that will be a file that none of us will ever be ashamed of. I challenge each of you to do this, and I know you will be blessed for it.
I am so thankful for this ward, and this time I have to address you, I cannot wait to serve a mission and I hope that I will have a GIANT file with the people I have shared the gospel with. I know this church is true, and that our Heavenly Father knows and loves each and everyone of us. I am so grateful to be able to share the gospel with the people of Panama andI I am so grateful for this opportunity to serve. I know that the Book of Mormon is modern day revelation and that the words it contains are true. I have a personal testimony of the power and gift of the Atonement, and I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of it.
So for now, until I send my first letter home, this is my last post! Keep reading and don't forget to write!
Adios Amigos!
Hermana Hunt
(My first Address)
Sister Emma Kay Hunt
Panama Panama City Mission
Guatemala Missionary Training Center
Bulevar Vista Hermosa 23-71
Vista Hermosa I, Zona 15
Guatemala City 01015
GUATEMALA
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