Home is Wherever I'm with You

Aloha y Bienvenidos a HAWAII.

I'm home guys. I can feel it in my bones, and every minute of every second that I breathe in that Hawaiian air, walk along the sand, leap into the ocean, run barefoot, jump off a cliff, or hear the sound of a ukulele, I just tingle with excitement. How is it possible that a mere human being can feel such a connection to a place, idea, or atmosphere? I have yet to discover the answer, but MAN do I love it! 

I've  only been back on the island for 4 days, and I feel like it's been a lifetime! Wednesday, I flew in and made a massive Costco/Walmart trip (courtesy of Jack and Andrea) and spent way too much money on food. haha I love Costco with all my heart, but it's like Target in the sense that you can't just go in an come out with one thing.

But I digress. So I got to my fantastic new house at about 7pm, and went straight into unpacking, bottom bunk baby! So, I live in this sweet little house with 5 other girls, and it is so much fun! My actual roommates are Kristin (from Idaho) and Whitney (from Oregon). Kristin actually served with my cousin Melissa in Michigan! Small world. My other housemates are, Makana (Hawaii) and Kulia & Kawena (Maui). I'm a minority here and it's great! All my roommates are Polynesian except Whitney, she's half Chinese and GORGEOUS! I love me some culture! 

Thursday, I was up at 6:30am and got to enjoy the sunrise and peaceful morning all to myself. Let me  just say that there is nothing better than sitting outside, early in the morning with the birds and roosters conversing around you while you study the scriptures and the sweet Hawaiian wind is running through your hair. Did I mention I love it here? hehe

Later that morning I got an invite to go to Waimea Bay. It was a BEAUTIFUL day. We swam and played beach volleyball and made friends with some local Marines. Then I fell asleep in the sand and got fried. My face is a nice brown now, but my shoulders are suffering. It's okay though, just 2 more burns like this, and I'll be back to my nice brown coloring again. Oh how I missed it! The sand between my toes, the waves carrying me to and fro, and the Aloha spirit that runs through the veins of all who come to the island. Oh, and we went cliff jumping off the giant cliff pictured below. (photo cred: thisrecording.com)

We finally made it home right before dinner, and I got ready to see some old friends and go to a session at the Laie, Hawaii temple. 

Lds.org

I was reunited with some old friends, and filled with the spirit. This temple is beautiful and so unique! I've yet to see a temple as expertly designed as this one. It is quite the experience.  After the temple, we went and found more old friends and reminisced the night away. I kept feeling like I needed to pinch people to see if it was real! Almost 3 year have gone by since we were all last together as the Ohana and it feels as though nothing has changed.

This morning, I'm sitting on the couch,  attempting to sit comfortably with my sunburned shoulders and still trying to wake myself up, after a crazy eventful night. I made patacones y salchichas con salsa (fried green bananas and hotdog sauce) for the girls in my house, then some of my friends came over and we played Egyptian Rat Screw (which got very intense, might I add) and next thing you know, everyone has friends over! I think that at our max, there were easily 24-25 of us. Cookies were made, songs were sung, good food was eaten, adventures were had, smiles all around, I realized that I'm in college in Hawaii again, and I just can't get enough. The Poly's jam seshed, and I happily listened as my ukulele got the most use its had in 2 years. :) But don't worry, going to bed at 2:30 in the morning is not going to be a habit by any means. I'll just do it every once in a while. 

All in all, I realized that I am home. I'm where I need to be and I couldn't be happier. Good friends, good food, good memories, and so many more adventures to come! Mahalo!

Another One Bites the Dust

     So here we are, 22 months later, and so many thoughts to be processed and placed on paper, (or the screen in this case). I think I want to take on a topic today, that, since being a return missionary, has been on my mind oft. And on the minds of everyone in my family. It's the BIG question:

"WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED???"  

    I'd like to take the time to answer that question, starting from my answer 4 months ago, to my answer now. 

     4 months ago, I was an awkward RM, trying to find my place, re-learning how to dance, communicate, and dress myself. I was also trying out, and being terrified by, the dating scene. I have a confession: Since being home, I have been on 2 dates. YUP. Just two. So to all you sistas out there who are thinking that the RM card is GOLD. It's not always. Now, don't get me wrong. I have, on a weekly basis, watched at least one friend PER WEEK, (RM's and non-RM's) get engaged since I have been home. So, that is a solid 20 people, at LEAST. (Don't even get me started on the Christmas and New Years blowout. And now VALENTINES DAY??? Ugh. It's crazy.) And I am very VERY happy for every single one of them. They look adorable in their photos, they are all great people and they all deserve to get married to great people and have great babies. So happy day for all of them. With ever FB announcement I get to sing a classic by Queen, " dun Dun DUN another one bites the dust!" (It's perfect, right?)

      Just after getting home, it seemed right. Find a husband, get married, give my parents some grandkids and whatnot. And hey, everyone else was doing it! But, then after date #1, I felt normal. Like, not anxious for more. And after date 2, I was feeling anxious again. So then, I was looking around thinking, 

      "Great, where are you Mr. Right? I'm home now!" I had had a small mental list of people I had wanted to date since BEFORE the mission,  and in those first few months, 2 of those possibilities had already fallen through. So, I was back to square one.Then, I got frustrated.  These meme explains how I felt in regards to the world: 

It was like, "C'mon God, I've done my part, now where's my man? I thought I had some great choices picked out and they ended up not being right!" Then, I remembered something that my dear friend Ashley told me. " When you get married, you are at your peak, your very best self, and you find someone who is also their very best self, and together, you go on to become even better and even greater people!" It didn't make sense, until now. But let me explain. 

     So, if you look at me, you might think; "Ok. She's in a singles ward, she's an RM, where's the boyfriend/fiance?"

     I don't want to seem prideful, like EVERYONE thinks I should be married or something, but with my 16 year old sister feeling all the pressures of my family on top of her with her first boyfriend, she is anxious for the attention to be elsewhere. And then of course my loving friends, who think I'm awesome for some strange reason, find joy in trying to set me up! *Thanks to Heather, Jess, Syd, Tessa, and my MOM. 

     But then I realized, that I wasn't at my full point of awesomeness yet! I want this awesome husband, and yet, I am not even fully awesome myself! It;s just like Ashley said. Time after time in the mission (yes, believe it or not) I would learn things about what I would need to do to find my future husband, or what I needed to be, etc. Out there, I grew so much, I can hardly believe it. And yet, I STILL have room to grow, and I can't wait to do it. Now instead of waiting on my next future relationships, like the great Al Fox said, (see link below) "I need to focus on my relationship with God." Instead wasting my time pining away for a relationship to come, why not focus on the most important relationship I'll ever have!? The relationship with my loving Heavenly Father. 

 

Al Fox's post on Single Life

      So for now, that is what I will be humbling focusing on. My time as a wife and mother will come. But first, I want to deserve what I want. And that means continuing down the path of becoming my best self, and having the best relationship I can with the single most important person in my life. 

    Here is to you, my future husband. To bettering myself for you, for us, for our family. To having a relationship with our Heavenly Father, and to all the other single ladies out there, our time will come when the Lord sees fit. 

    On that note, enjoy this time, travel, eat, listen, pray, read, BE SINGLE and Love it. Because someday we won't get it back! We'll find them soon. 

Until then, hubby.